I’ve been asked before why my posts are focused on mums, being a mum and the experience of motherhood through the eyes of a mother. This is not a sexist decision. I am not disregarding the experiences of a father.
In society, the role, expectations, and experience of a mother vs a father are very different, in many ways they are polar opposites.
It is a mother who carries her child and births the baby.
It is a mother who breastfeeds.
It is typically a mother who stays home (or is expected to stay home) to look after the baby.
It is typically the mother who is up at nighttime feeding, settling.
Mothers are typically primary caregivers of young children.
It is mothers who give up (or are expected to) their work, their career either partly or wholly to raise the children.
The image of the self-sacrificing mother is out in the media, not a self-sacrificing father.
Many mothers feel reliant on their husband or partner for finances including feeling guilty for spending money upon themselves.
Movies come out glorifying the “Bad Mom” not the “Bad Dad”
Single-mothers are vilified in the media, single-fathers are often celebrated.
Mothers experience greater levels of peri-natal depression and parenting depression.
Mothers either take on or are expected to by default if they are at home raising children, to be responsible for the management of the household, laundry, cleaning, groceries etc…
The term “just a mum” is said way more often than “just a dad”.
Of course, not all of these points are relevant to every family but in the vast majority, There is a great disparity between the responsibility of a mother and a father in raising the children. All of this creates an enormous amount of stress for mothers who can find themselves lost, resentful, overworked, feeling inadequate, feeling unsupported, unvalued and underappreciated.
THIS IS NOT OKAY!
It is not okay that mothers have this experience of motherhood and feel this way.
It is not okay for society to treat mothers like this.
Motherhood is not to be taken for granted.
It is not okay for mothers to be expected to do anything.
If we accept that currently, mothers have the greatest involvement in raising children, then it is mothers who are shaping the next generation. It is primarily the actions of a mother that will determine the path a child is set upon.
If we want to ensure that the next generation is the best that they can be, then we need to support mothers to be the best that they can be. We need to arm them with the research, the tools, and techniques that will raise children who are kind, gentle, considerate and respectful. We need to provide services that celebrate mothers.
This is what I am here for. I am here to support and empower mothers to be the best mothers they can be, for the benefit of themselves and their children. For this to happen my focus is on mothers, women, their journey through motherhood, and I will not apologise for it.