Who am I? Who are you?
Through my meditation practice, I try to connect with me, connect with my why and who I want to be. Differentiate between Heather the ‘mum’ and Heather the ‘woman’. They are the same person, yet different. I am more than just a mum. I am a woman, a spiritual being in this universe, a soul and more.
As I grew up I struggled with who Heather is. I felt I never lived up to my parents’ expectations. I knew I was gay when I was 9, and although being gay wasn’t an issue for my family, I still felt it was a let down to them. At school, I was always trying to fit in even though I felt like the odd one out. I was bullied. I’ve struggled with depression. I’ve had some nasty break-ups. I’ve drunk too much alcohol and taken drugs to escape the now. I was always searching for people outside of me to “get” me so that I could work out who I was. But none of it worked.
Then I became a new mum.
I love being a mum. It has completed me and fulfilled me in a way that I would never have expected. It has shaken me to my core, exposed my soul and my heart. I have grown in ways that amaze me every day. I am weaker, more vulnerable and incredibly strong all at the same time. I am drawn to being a mum so much that I have dedicated my life to supporting and empowering mums so they can be truly fulfilled.
One of the things I love about being a mum is that I’ve been able to design who I am. I have been able to choose what is important to me. I know what I value as a mum, as a parent. I know what I believe about raising children, about how I should ‘be’ as a mum, and how I want to parent my children. Through an ongoing process, I consciously design the mum that I want to be to my beautiful children, and I love that.
If we plan the type of mum that we want to be, and if we accept that we are more than just being a mum, then it stands to reason that in order to have the best life possible, we should design the person we want to be. We must look objectively at ourselves and ask; “What type of impression do I want to leave in this world?” “What do I want to remember my life as?” “What is going to fulfill me?” When we know this, we create a solid and stable foundation for life as a mum.
As we grow up we develop our beliefs, our attitudes and our habits from our parents. We may choose to go down the same path we are set upon when we are children, or instead, go a completely different way. We adapt and change thanks to our life experiences, thanks to every person who comes into our lives. But does this create a consciously designed life? Or have we just developed in reaction to our past?
Each day, each interaction we have, each experience we go through gives us the opportunity to act like the type person we want to be. Our time with our children allow us to be the type of mum that we want to be.
I desire to live a consciously designed life. My journey of personal development facilitates that. I work on the type of mum I want to be and I work on the type of person I want to be. When we work on ourselves we change and we ascend our past. We move beyond our past stories into more.
This journey is a life long one. It is a journey that I would encourage each mum must take. It is scary to look at ourselves. It can be scary at first to face our inner self, to be vulnerable, to recognise our limitations, our beliefs and habits that are holding us back from more. It is an essential process. Not everyone is ready for it though.
This post may be connecting with you or it may not, and that’s okay. We must be ready before we can move forward. To take that first step, to even admit that we want more from our life.
But if you want more from you as you travel the journey of motherhood; If you want to be more for the benefit of your children, then you cannot not look at yourself. Seek out those who you can look to for inspiration. Seek out those who support you on your journey. Read, listen, meditate. Connect with the vibration of this world. Embrace the woo-woo and the scientific.
Work out who you are and who you want to be because your life depends upon it and your children depend upon it.