We all want our days to be easier as mums. There are days that flow and everything goes to plan, and then there are the opposite when is a sh*t day right from the moment you open your eyes. We’ve all had them, but there are things that we can do help make those days occur less frequently. The key is to having mini morning rituals that support your self and you as a mum through your parenting journey – no matter how your kids are acting.
One of the most important parts of enjoying parenting, even when your kids are pushing every single one of your buttons, is practicing gratitude. If you wake up in a foul mood in the morning and all you do is complain about the state of the house, how little sleep you got, how tired you feel, how the kids are acting or other life stress then that is all you will end up focusing on all day. You won’t enjoy your day, you won’t act like the type of mum you want to be and ultimately you and your kids will suffer.
When you wake up in the morning the first thing you should do is run through a list of everything you feel grateful for. It’s best if you can write it your list down in your journal, take 10-15 minutes if possible. Otherwise while you’re having your shower, or making the morning cup of tea or coffee run through a list (out loud) of everything that you are grateful for. From the house over your head, to the food in your cupboards, to being alive, to the small things such as clothes, the activities you are doing that day, your friends – EVERYTHING. Be grateful and practice gratitude every day and your life will change. I promise!
Do you exercise? Exercise is the bomb! We all know that we should be more active. Some of us might already be active with our lives and with our kids, for other mums this is an area that could be improved. Exercise improves our mood, our self-esteem, self-confidence, helps manage stress, improves our health and makes us better parents. When we feel better about ourselves we don’t ‘re-act’ to our child’s challenging behaviour and then we have easier days.
The best time to do exercise is first thing in the morning. Pop on some music and dance around the house. Go for a walk. Go onto YouTube and follow along to some aerobic exercise, yoga or simple stretching routine. If you can do this within the first 15 – 30 minutes of the day, every day, your day will be so much easier!
Wake Up Early!
I know that with parenting there is always the temptation to sleep in, get every minute that you can. However if you can set your alarm and wake up 30 minutes before your kids are awake it gives you time to do your gratitude practice, plan your day, and get some exercise in as well. You’ll have accomplished things that you need to do for you before you have to look after the kids. This sets you up on the right foot. It also helps decrease any resentment that builds throughout the day with the common attitude “I only get to look after the kids” or “I never get to spend time on myself”.
If you wake up earlier than your kids and spend some time looking after yourself and putting yourself on the right foot for the day then being a mum is so much easier. I do it myself and I encourage all my clients to do it as well. Try it, what do you have to loose? Yes you’ll loose 30 minutes sleep – and all you have to do to negate that is to go to bed earlier!
Put Some Music On
Anyone who’s been following me knows that music is a huge part of my life. It gets me going in the morning, while driving in the car, doing housework and just relaxing when the girls are asleep. It doesn’t matter who you are, music speaks to the soul. Every culture in the world has a connection to music and motherhood could definitely be considered a culture. Having music (and not just kids music and nursery rhymes!) throughout your day will help lift your mood, decrease your stress and make your day flow. When your day flows, it’s easier, more fun and everyone benefits – you AND the kids.
I thought I’d share some of the songs that help me through my day and I’d love for you to share below in the comments what your favourite tunes are to lift your mood.
Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson
Diamonds – Rihanna
Happy – Pharrell Williams
Shake It Off – Taylor Swift
Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen
Try Everything – Shakira
Confident – Demi Lovato
I Won’t Back Down – Tom Petty
The Fighter (Feat. Ryan Tedder) – Gym Class Heroes
Roar – Katy Perry
Have a Plan
Every mum has hundred things on their to-do list for the day, the week, the month, the year. The thing is having a list this long can lead to too much overwhelm and ultimately you not achieving what needs to get done. To make your days easier create a plan and have 3 things that you need to do. Do one thing in the morning before lunch, one thing in the afternoon and then one thing when the kids are in bed. This breaks up your tasks, your day and makes everything a lot more manageable which will decrease your over all stress and make you a better parent.
Know Your Parenting Goals
Do you know what type of mum you want to be? What values and beliefs you want to strive to install in your children? Or do you just wing it as you go through your days? If you have a clear plan of action for how you want to be as a mum and the type of parent you want to be then if gives you your own roadmap of action which guides your behaviour as a mum.
We always have a choice about how we want to act, even when it feels like we’re being backed into a corner, we have free will. If we know the type of mum we want to be and our parenting goals, when we’re backed into the corner and our child is loosing it, acting out or pushing our buttons we will know how we want to act and when we act in accordance with that it is then we feel truly fulfilled, satisfied and happy with the type of mum we are.
There are your 6 techniques to help you make your day flow easier. Notice that none of it has to do with changing the behaviour of your child. That is because real change within the family unit starts with the parent that is looking after the kids the most, and that’s usually mum (but of course not always). It can be hard and challenging to look at ourselves but when we do, that is when miracles happen. Motherhood coaching is perfect for this so I’d love you to join me on Facebook or even better sign up for an introductory coaching session and let’s get your days flowing the way that you want them to!
P.S. Have you got a thought on this? Keep it going and write a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!