Life Coaching? It’s the buzz thing at the moment. Seems like everyone is a coach of some sort. I thought I’d share with you why I KNOW coaching can help mums.
Let me tell you a bit about my story. I’m a single mum of two beautiful girls and I went through a messy separation when I was 30 weeks pregnant with my second daughter. It hit me for six. I was STRESSED! I was dealing with the grief of losing my partner and the dream for the future that I had carved out for myself. I had to deal with the uncertainty of my future. Would I be able to work? Would I be able to cope? How was I going to manage? Not to mention all the stress of legal proceedings.
I suffered from post-natal depression (PND) after the birth of DD1 and with all the drama that was going on, the chance of me suffering again was a forgone conclusion. So I started the medical model of treatment. I was hooked up with social workers and psychologists. My GP was on top of things. My obstetrician was really worried about me but was INCREDIBLY supportive. It was a rough ride though. As my stress levels rose in the last month of pregnancy I was actually loosing weight. I had to have fetal growth and development scans weekly.
The birth of my daughter was the most AMAZING day I can ever remember. I had a very close girlfriend as my birth partner and she was everything that I wanted and everything that I needed. The whole day was on my terms. I wasn’t bullied into any decisions by the medical / midwifery staff. I owned it! It culminated in me being able to deliver my own daughter, catch her myself and place her up on my chest. It was surreal. I then proceeded to loose 2 liters of blood and had two obstetricians pumping on my uterus to stop me bleeding. But obviously I made it!
During my last trimester I was a member of a Facebook group for mums who experienced PND. It was set up by the same fantastic woman who was my birth partner. It was a great resource. All the mums there could talk openly and honestly about how they were feeling. Sharing the good time but also discussing the dark. I was able to talk about how I was feeling, not only about the separation but also about my anxiety and worry about being a single mum. I leant on the mums in the group and they were amazing, I don’t know what I would have done without them.
About 6 weeks after DD2 was born one of the mums from the online group wanted to meet me in person. I know, how exciting! lol 🙂 I was just feeling comfortable enough to venture outside but I was very fragile. Unsettled by new situations. Easily overwhelmed. Quiet, reserved, no self-confidence – the complete opposite to my normal self. It took a lot of self talk to get me to agree to meet up, but I did.
So one Tuesday morning we met at the local soft play centre. It was hard. I wasn’t organised like the other mums with snacks and bags packed. I didn’t feel comfortable starting up a conversation with someone I didn’t know. I was dressed in black, unhappy with my post-pregnancy body. I didn’t want to be there, but I knew that it was good for me. I was relieved when it was over and I could retreat to my home.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. I was at a Thermomix demonstration. I walked into a room of women who were waiting for the demo to start (I’d been running late). I sat down next to someone who I recognised, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. So I said to her, “I know you from somewhere”. But she was adament that we didn’t. After about 10 minutes of general chit chat we worked it out. She was there, that morning at the soft play, 9 months earlier. But now she didn’t recognise me.
Now granted my hair has changed (I’ve gone blonde) but it wasn’t that she mentioned. She said I looked happy. She commented on how sad and awful I had looked but now I was unrecognizable. I had changed so much over that period. Changed in a good way.
It made me feel so happy YAY! 🙂
But the $64,000.00 questions is how did I do it?
I continued in the medical model of therapy. I kept on talking to other mums with PND. I joined a single mums group. I survived. Until one morning I went to log on to Facebook to complain about another thing that had happened, when I stopped. I didn’t want to start my day off in a negative framework. I was tired of going over my story again and again and again. It wasn’t getting me anywhere. So I stopped. It was as easy as that.
I first trained as a Life Coach in 2001. I took myself back to my training, I worked through the program. I worked with a coach. I furthered my education with a training program accredited by the International Coaching Federation. I felt FANTASTIC!
My friends and family started commenting on how better I looked, I sounded and how I acted. I was happy to be spending time with people again. I stopped wearing black. I was more confident in my post-pregnancy body even though I hadn’t lost any weight. I was positive. I looked to the future. I was calmer with my girls. I handled the tantrums, the sleepless nights, the endless demands with so much easy. I really started to love being a mum again.
I was released from the darkness and into the light. My heart and soul began to sing.
I credit coaching. I was able to apply practical skills that started to work immediately! I didn’t have to examine every little thing that happened to me in order to see what it meant, how it made me feel, how I could act to avoid it next time and how I would cope with the outcome. I just made a decision. I chose the mother that I wanted to be and I started to act that way.
I began to meditate. I placed my needs as a priority. I defined my values and began living in line with them. I looked at how my thoughts, words and actions impacted every aspect of my life. I chose to only spend time around people who grew me. I respected myself. I loved myself. I loved the mum that I was to my girls. I loved being a mum again.
One morning I had a lightbulb moment while in the shower. I could bring this same program to all those mums out there who are unhappy with where they are. All of you who aren’t the mum that you want to be. To any mum who feels that some days they are just surviving and sometimes would just like to run away (even if they’d never admit it).
So here I am. I’ve set up Blissed Out Mums to help YOU! To help you become the ideal mum that you want to be. To help you be calm. To help you feel confident in the decisions you make. To help you develop a blueprint that you can use so that you love being a mum.
I know that this program helps. I know it works – I’ve experienced it first hand. I challenge all of you to give it a try.
Shoot me an email here and tell me your story. Let me show you how you can be everything that you want to be.