Do you every suffer from Mummy Doubt? Do you second guess yourself? Question every part of your parenting? Constantly ask everyone’s opinion but you still can’t reach a decision? Sound familiar?
Mummy Doubt and Mummy Guilt have the biggest negative influence on the type of mum you are. In this post I want to address Mummy Doubt.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “you are the expert on your child”? Well it is TRUE! Mums generally (but not always of course) spend the most amount of time with the children. From the moment they are born, you hear the cries, see the facial expressions, read the body language and catalogued a lifetime of cause and effect experiences. This all culminates in the magical force of mummy instinct. The key to the equation is listening to your gut!
Let me tell you my current story…
Miss 1 is currently going through a really unsettled period. She’s 15 months, frustrated she can’t talk, follows her sister around and wants to do what she’s doing plus has started daycare 3 times a week and is adjusting to spending more time away from me. Her behaviour is off, and her sleep is off. I’m currently averaging 4 3/4 hours sleep a night! I know something has to change. But where do I start?
First I know what type of mum I want to be. I’ve thought about it in depth and I know what characteristics of the ideal mum I want to be. I am content with my choices and don’t feel the need to justify my decisions with anyone. I strive at all times to be a gentle parent. So being gentle underpins all of my parenting decisions.
I know the root of the problem is in her gut, it’s my mummy instinct. She had problems when she was a newborn but it settled after 9 weeks of screaming. But it seems to have reared its ugly head. I know that she reacts with gas pains, diarrhoea and general unsettledness to sultanas and broccoli, I have heard, seen and experienced this!
After a couple of conversations with two of my closest friends, (a nurse with two kids and a mum with two kids one with severe intolerances), I am reassured that I’m on the right track. I do my research and look at salicylates as a possible cause. I find out that many of the foods that don’t sit well with me also are on this list.
So I’ve made the decision to take foods that are high in salicylates out of her diet (using the RPAH elimination diet guidelines). We shall see over the next few weeks how it goes, I’ll let you know!
I am sure that I will face some resistance, from well meaning friends and family. I will have to explain my decision, my rationale and field a million questions. “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?” “Just put her in her room and let herself sort it out at night.” “Just wean her” “You’re going to make her life so complicated” “What if she doesn’t get the proper nutrition?”. You get the idea.
Now all of these questions could certainly raise a lot of mummy doubt. But no. It is not allowed here! I know I am doing the right thing because I know my daughter, better than anyone else! I am acting in a way that reaffirms the type of mum I want to be, I am acting in a gentle manner. I am confident in myself as a mum so I’ll be able to field any question.
Can you see how working out what type of mum you want to be, and acting in that way can make all the difference? When you know who you want to be, you raise your self-esteem, you feel more confident, you trust your decisions.
It doesn’t matter what the situation is. Whether it is food intolerances, what to feed your children, when and where to send them to school, how to discipline, how to help them sleep and even your birth choices. If you act in the way you want to, and the way that fulfills you and reflects the type of mum that you want to be then you will be able to say good bye to Mummy Doubt.
And how fantastic would that be!!!
P.S. If you’d like to know how all of this can work for you then hit the work with me tab up the top and pop your details in and I’ll get in contact with you ASAP